Improve bedtime with reliable routines for all your littles
A bedtime routine is one of the best — and easiest — things you can do to help cue your infant’s or child’s body and brain that sleep is coming, and set the stage for a good night’s sleep.
Benefits of a bedtime routine:
Makes falling asleep and staying asleep easier
Creates time for connecting and bonding with our children
Provides reassurance when different caregivers are doing bedtime
Offers a strong signal that bedtime is around the corner
Lowers stress levels (theirs and ours)
Fosters emotional attachment
Every family is going to have a different routine, and that’s fine. What you do is not as important as how you do it.
Children thrive when there are routines and some structure in their days. Daily routines in general lead to predictable and less stressful environments for young children. This is especially true for babies and younger children, but also for older children and sensitive children. Routines can make our days (and nights) easier and more enjoyable.
Consistency, predictability and fulfilled expectations lead to happier kids. When they know what to expect, they are happier and more settled, making their job of settling to sleep easier.
“Routines cue our bodies and brains that it is time for sleep. What you do is not as important as how you do it – consistently!”
Sleep associations are incredibly strong, and the repetitive nature of a parent’s exact actions before bed in the same order every night is powerful. Children thrive in a consistent environment. When our babies and children have a consistent routine in place, they feel safe and secure as they are able to anticipate the next step.
What I love about a bedtime routine is that you can start right away when they’re little, and it will grow with them and change as they grow. With newborns, it might last five minutes and include a few simple soothing steps. With toddlers, you can offer a few age-appropriate choices, giving them some of that control they crave but don’t get during their day. When they’re a little older, children might suggest add-ons or replacements. It seems like our girls’ bedtime routine changes every six months or so, but it never seems to take any longer.
Young children might like to play a quiet game. School-aged children might want to read to you or you might start reading chapter books together. Some families might enjoy and benefit from yoga, meditation, or breathwork/mindfulness practices. Bedtime-appropriate podcasts have become popular too. You could spend some time talking about your day and naming one or two things for which you’re grateful.
Here is my favourite 12-step routine. You can compare it with your own or use it to come up with your own.
Bath
Diaper/potty visit
Lotion/massage
Pajamas and sleep sack
Brush teeth/wash mouth
Stories
Lights out
Songs
Put in crib/bed wide awake
Turn on white noise
Key phrase
Leave the room
The bedtime routine from four months and up should be about 20-30 minutes from beginning to end with one child.
Newborns
It’s never too soon to start developing good sleep habits. From a baby’s birth, we can begin using tools and techniques to promote healthy sleep, such as swaddling, having a dark room, using white noise, and putting our baby down when they are alert and awake.
Little babies
Around 8-10 weeks is a great time to establish a more organized bedtime routine. Provide your baby with a reliable series of sleep cues and consistently repeat the process around the same time every evening. Your baby will soon start to recognize this as bedtime. Establishing a soothing pre-sleep routine helps cue your baby that sleep is coming. At this age, the routine won’t be more than 5-7 minutes.
Toddlers
Offer some age-appropriate choices, like choosing between the red or blue pajamas, or choosing between two books. This will help mitigate their need to exert control throughout the night.
Young children
If you don’t already have a consistent bedtime routine, I encourage you to start now. It is never too late to start implementing a bedtime routine.
Nap time routine
Don’t forget about a nap time routine. We always want to give our babies and children a heads up that sleep is right around the corner. Children are happier and more confident when they know what to expect. The nap time routine should be about 5 minutes from start to finish. The nap time routine I recommend is:
Diaper change (if needed) or potty visit
Sleep sack
Book
Song
What not to include in bedtime routine:
Electronics, TVs, iPods, iPads, phones and video games should be turned off and put away at least 90-120 minutes before bedtime. This goes for adults too.
Exposure to these light emissions in the important evening hours before sleep can increase alertness. Bright light can also disrupt the body’s naturally occurring circadian rhythms by suppressing the release of the hormone melatonin, which is important for maintaining and regulating our sleep-wake cycle.
The blue light emitted from these devices hinders sleep even after the device is shut off. The body interprets blue light as daylight and the brain sends out a signal to wake up. Instead of being sleepy at bedtime, the child is now wide awake even when the screen is shut off.